Our choice to be happy
I was listening to a podcast earlier this week and was reminded that phrases like “Happiness is a choice” stir up some frustration for me. Don’t get me wrong, I agree with it to an extent. But what I think we get wrong so often is how simplified we often take this. It can be perceived as a light switch you turn on and off. Spoiler alert- you can’t unless you’re a goldfish and I hope that as a human you’re more complex than that. I also counter back, how do you apply this logic to sudden life tragedies (ie death, what’s happening in Maui, to name a few)? Yes I think our mind is a factor in choosing to be happy but this “choice” has a whole lot of layers and gray areas.
Happiness is the result of choices we make in our life. Choosing to take care of our bodies, minds, relationships, time, showing gratitude, working through our BS etc… it’s in these choices that happiness is created and the outcome of.
Let’s say it is possible to just choose to be happy at the drop of a hat, which you can’t, there would be some pretty bad things happening under the hood. Things like, ignoring emotions outside of happiness which can build up over time in your mind and body. Or missing out on some deep connections because when you are able to be real and authentic thats where true deep connection is formed. Or completely invalidating your own feelings which leads to self doubt and inability to trust yourself and decisions you make. I can keep going…
Imagine a world where we are all happy 24/7. That might appeal to some but definitely not to me. You need the waves in life, the highs and lows, to really experience and appreciate the highs. Also this isn’t possible because that would mean that we are all the same, like the same things, prefer the same everything… this sounds like a snooze fest and a movie I would turn off immediately.
How do I find my happy? One way is in my habits. I practice a lot of yoga, I read, I journal daily, I have hobbies that light me up. Another way is in my relationship to others. I spend time with people I love and show up for them when I can, I apologize when I mess up, I forgive quickly, I try to connect vs being right, I get curious about myself and others. The other way is in how I approach my choices. I have learned to let go, I try to practice gratitude for my present moment/ situation (this is a WIP), I try to sit in the gray areas of life versus not think in B&W, I (to the best of my ability at that time) sit in my shit by owning all parts of me, including the not so great parts, to try to understand how I may be impacting things externally.
All of that can be summarized to: I try to make choices that are aligned with me and to me.
So my invitation to you is, how do you define happiness?
